Demon & the Mermaid

Grandpa’s bedtime tales used to be mesmerising chapters of the epics Ramayana and Mahabharatha. Nesting our heads on his white hairy chest my cousin and me used to dream about the legendary jump of majestic monkey God Hanuman over the sea to Lanka overthrowing the obstacles caused by sea serpent Surasa and the monstrous mountain Minakam. Imaginations on mystic mythical beings are wild and vibrant since then. During the school days Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey gathered from the dusty old cupboard of Swamiji taught me how to ride on centaurs, dragons and unicorns too. No intention to compete with Vyasa, Valmiki or Homer…Framing neither an epic saga nor a fairy dairy. This is about the snowy reality of a Demon and a Mermaid, who are alter egos. Epics have quite a lot goons meditating to gain boons for options to hide their souls from jealous gods. This story is about such a demon. Beauty of any fairy tale is that they are the only literature on earth that cannot be questioned.

The demon - a silent creepy little creature - never longed for anything else except for following his devilish intentions and intuitions on his voyage to be a victor of the world. Gods were naturally jealous. Wherever possible they shot sparks of lightning shocks at him creating scars on his body and mind. Interestingly yet ironically they never knew where his life was. He was looked as a nasty being living with a violent heart and silent soul. The demon himself was surprised about his survival each time and the mystery behind his life.

On one of the rides on his centur at the grainy grey beech sand, he found a stained bottle caught in the net with an unclear message wrapped inside. The centur read it clearly to him. He discovered the sign of a mermaid living many oceans away who seemed to have written it. When the demon placed the bottle on salty water, a glimpse of her beautiful body reflected on the sides of the bottle smiling at him and in seconds it flowed down and dissolved in the shallow waters of the ocean. Demon immediately muttered a message in the ears of centurs and asked him to ride over the oceans and find her. Wagging his tail the centur jumped over the waves and raced on the ocean surface. It took many months for him to come back. But what he got with him was a visage filled with tiny drops of kisses by the Mermaid.

The next time when the Gods shot a lightning at the Demon, he fell deep into the seawater sinking down to the unknown in an unconscious state. The salty water entered into his ears and revealed the truth and mystery behind his life. The Demon heard the mermaid’s laughing voice echoing vague with the ripples hurrying to escape from the water. The visage of kisses opened and they covered all over his body, like tiny little fishes of rainbow colours. The streaks of light peeped in from the sky through the water scattering over the scales of the fishes. The demon felt the kiss of mermaid on his lips. He held her tight to his body and kissed behind her long neck. Her naughty golden hairs covered his face and the rosy lips whispered this, “ Your soul is safe in me, millions of oceans away. It is not for the Gods…”

As he opened his eyes lying at the grainy sands of the beach, to the beautiful red sun sailing high in the sky, many oceans away the murmur of his soul melted on her lips. Listening to her words drafted in an echo of laughter he stood high on the sand taking a deep breath of chill salty sea wind. While he exhaled, he whispered a name… Only the centur heard it… and kept it a quite secret in his heart.

A fairy tale cannot be questioned… until it is an experience. Grandpa never said this to me… but life did…

Karna Motcham - Incarnation of Karna

An amazing film I saw yesterday that made me realize how fake my films are in concepts and treatment. Karna Motcham is an award winning short film about a Theru-Koothu Artist and his one-day life in Chennai. Screenplay written and Directed by S.Murali Manohar, Story, Dialogues by Writer S.Ramakrishnan. This short film have won more than 60 awards including National award by Government of India, Tamilnadu Government Best short film, Best Director etc.

This film reminded me of my all time favourite director till date, Im Kwoen-Tak and his films Sopyonje and Chi Hwa Seon - Painted Fire. His films has volumes on his own land, the people, history, culture, traditions, geography, climatic conditions…etc… While Sopyonje says the story of the life of a performer of Korean traditional folk form Panasori, The Painted Fire is about a traditional Korean Calligrapher Owon. In both the films the passion of the artists are shown through every single property and parameter of cinema.

As the film ‘Chi Hwa Seon’ progresses we see the climate of Korean land changing in every scene. It has wide angles of the nature and the Korean land, it has deep emotions, row and natural people, and it has nearly everything that can possibly act as the cultural ambassador of the Korea. The passion of the artist is shown so deep. The calligrapher once break into a house that is in the control of military to make a small correction in his painting, all his best paintings are done as favour for different people including the wife who cheated him, his teacher and friends. In a frame we see a fleet of sparrows flying high in the sky and the shot dissolves to a long calligraphy by the artist who has all those sparrows sketched with perfection. The film Sopyonje used all the similar metaphors possible to symbolise the art Panasori. I cannot forget that long static scene where the Panasori Master and his children singing ‘Aariraari rang Soori soorirang’ and walking across an original Korean Landscape. The scene starts with all the three as small spots at the extreme end of the path and the frame remains static throughout until they sing and come close to the camera and leave. In the theatre I found audience standing and clapping for this single scene. It is the simplest and effective cinematic representation of passion and the film was thus the blood and flesh of the director representing his passion. In my life no other scenes thrilled me as much as this in theatre.

I have seen both these films only once and they are so haunting that I remember every single frame of it so deep in heart. I have a weird way of judging a cinema, which is obviously not the best or the right way. I consider those films that melt in me so perfectly hesitating to get out of memory as my favourite films. While Chaplin remains the role model as a cinematic brand, it is Im Kwoen-Tak who is my ‘complete director’ and thus a target to reach. Both these men are impossible to reach in perfection or style, but I do treat them with at most respect as the Gurus of cinema.

Talking about Chaplin, Im Kwoen-Tak or any of their films is not that easy. I can talk hours and hours about them, why them? Even a single frame in their film itself! There is so much to explore and study in detail.

Coming back to where I started- Karna Motcham. This could be one such film I have seen after a very long time that conveyed the beauty of the geography, culture, emotion etc of a land so perfectly in its concept and treatment. I was so surprised seeing such a film from Tamil Nadu. So thrilled and excited on the possibility of a revival period for good cinema in Tamil. If people are not reaching good cinema, let us take this pledge to take cinema to the people.

Art was, is or will not be a commodity. It is all about creation, innovation, communication, passion and sharing without expectation. Karna Motcham is one such film that should reach people of Tamil Nadu and the world representing Tamil Nadu.

The Beachcomber

A short story narrated by my friends Alice and acted by Eugene. This is a chapter of omnibus film ‘Fish and the Yesterday Song’ by my artist friends Claire and Peter of Skimtone Studio with old people of Newcastle. I was been lucky to be a part this project helping them in shooting the film. I have also done the documentation of the process of making this collaborative process-led film.

More than the film, the unconditional love of each and every participant was a memory to cherish for this lifetime. Eugene and me shared quite a lot time cracking jokes and fooling around. Well, it was like getting a good friend whom I can relate very well. He too calls me his best friend now. Cheers dude. And definitely Alice, she is my sweet heart too. Love u guys. The film was a great effort of six months by Artists Claire and Peter. Kudos to the team. We all got so many hugs and kisses, which is precious than any awards or appreciation. Hope to make another film with the team.

no more snow

Smile

The only thing the Little Tramp wanted was a little smile on her face… He smiled at her and so did she… Together they walked hand in hand, down a road at dawn, towards an uncertain future of new hope as the music ‘Smile’ flowed in the background. This is the climax of Charlie Chaplin film ‘Modern Times’. ‘Smile’ is a musical composition by Chaplin himself. My curiosity made me do a bit of research on this violin piece and happen to get a lot of surprises. A simple search to know about the versions of this song put me in an endless loop. My hunt for ‘smile’ made me fill my computer screen with countless ‘smiles’. In an hour I could find almost two hundred plus versions by various singers and I had to end the search… For a moment I saw the ghost of Chaplin smiling at me standing right in front of me. Can’t explain the feeling in the blog. I had to smile back… out of all my tensions. Chaplin was always been a role model whom I truly envy. I wish I could bring such smiles. Sigh! Well…Chaplin is Chaplin…and that is a film and not reality.

Smile, though your heart is aching,

Smile, even though it's breaking.

When there are clouds in the sky,

you'll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through

for you.

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide every trace of sadness.

Although a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time you must keep on trying,

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

I strongly believe that there was, is and will be only one brand called Charlie Chaplin. Sure, no one can be 100% in anything, but he did prove that there is a rank for being 99.99%. Who is this man? Where does he come from? Where did he go? And why? I have no answers… I am speechless each time I hear something new about him. How could he make people so happy?

The Chaplin’s version of ‘Smile’ was an instrumental piece that came out with ‘Modern Times’, in the year 1936. Later in 1954, John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons added the lyrics and it was sung by Nat King Cole. Since then, till date ‘Smile’ has had many versions, I leave you to explore. I had to quit….

‘Smile’ was also said to be Michael Jackson’s favourite… Michael Jackson recorded the song for his 1995 double album HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I. After his death in June 2009, the song charted due to legal digital download sales.

This is a sample list of others who sang it… well this is just some of the names I could search…… I had to quit…..

Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, Natalie Cole, Michael Bolton, Barbra Streisand, Skeeter Davis, Judy Garland, Diana Ross, The Lettermen, Eric Clapton, Betty Everett and Jerry Butler, Timi Yuro, Holly Cole, Elvis Costello, Lyle Lovett, Julia Migenes, Steve Howe & Martin Taylor, Dalida, Michael Jackson, Michael Bublé, Maria Friedman, Petula Clark, Djavan, Sun Ra, Robert Downey Jr., Ray Quinn, Tony Bennett, Janelle Monae, Russell Watson, Josh Groban, Jimmy Durante, Barbi Benton, David Whitfield, Westlife, Harry Connick Jr., Charice, Nydia Rojas, Madeleine Peyroux, Harry Connick Jr, The Fureys, Charice Pempengco, Chris Botti, Ingmar Nordstrom, John Barry, Diana Ross, The Savage Rose, Chris Walden, Petula Clark, Hanne Boel, Ray Quinn, Roger Whittaker, Michael Bolton, Timi Yuro, Tony Bennett, Judy Garland, Rickie Lee Jones, Frank Pourcel, Manfred Junker, Lena Maria, Pierre Boussaguet, Palle Mikkelborg, Trijntji Oosterhuis, Jimmy Durante, Nana Mouskouri, Trini Lopez, Cyd Sharice, Chiquita, Ruby Murray, Sun Ra, Elvis Costello, Martin Nievera, Staffan William-Olsson, Tune Robbers,Holy Cole, Steve Brookstein, Sandie Shaw, Pearl Django, Linda Eder, Lucia Micarelli, Russell Watson, Ruth Brown, Joe Longthrone, Jimmy Scott, Sammy Davis Jr, Long John Baldry, Petula Clark, Tony O'Malley, Peggy lee, Spirit, Judy Garland, Amalia Gre', Amy Dickson, Atlantic Five Jazz Band, Johnny Mathis, Lisa Dawn Miller, Grace Kelly, Steve Tyrell, Jerome Jackson, David Whitfield, Danny La Rue, Lita Roza, Jacqueline Francois, All'Amore Ensemble, Simon Schott………..

Let's SMILE :)

Aerial Boundaries

"I try to live my life like I play my guitar" said Hedges, "asking, 'what happens if I press this?' I'm always pushing the boundaries of comfort."

While studying in MCC, in the year 2004, my friend Amit gave a music album called Miracles that was a collection of musical masterpieces by various composers around the world.

The music piece that immediately caught my attention was ‘Aerial Boundaries’ by American composer and acoustic guitarist Michael Hedges from Oklahoma. Since then I don’t think I have had a day in my life without listening to it. Slapping and plucking of strings or percussive slapping on the guitar body gives a totally different feel, which I guess is quite unique of Hedges. Except an ear for music I have no commendable knowledge of music, so I am not talking much on this. But acoustic guitar always remained a love and thus the songs based on it.

‘Aerial Boundaries’ always takes me to many mountain peaks and heights I keep imagining in life and the richness of my solitude. I often have dreams of rich green mountains touching clouds. Listening to it makes me experience the same, the touch of clouds and smell of raw and chill wind. I was reading about Michael Hedges today. Sorry to realize that he passed away at the age of 43 in late 1997, in a car accident. He was driving home from San Francisco after a Thanksgiving visit to his girlfriend in Long Island, New York. His body was found a few days afterward. The very next year 1998, his record Oracle won the Grammy Award for Best New Age Album. Hedges was able to let go of attachments and live the life of a true travelling troubadour, with a little Zen in his pocket says John Beaudin in an essay about him.

Michael Hedges was also a multi-instrumentalist, playing piano, percussion, tin whistle, harmonica, and flute, among others on his albums. Some of the techniques he used include slap harmonics created by slapping the strings over a harmonic node, use of right hand hammer-ons particularly on bass notes, percussive slapping on the guitar body etc. He also made extensive use of string dampening as employed in classical guitar, and was known to insist strongly on the precise duration of sounds and silences in his pieces. He also played guitar-variants like the harp guitar and the Trans-Trem Guitar.

My impatience definitely didn’t let me grab any knowledge of guitar, though I have tried learing it many times. There was always been a guitar in my room for no specific reason but as a showpiece. I remember that silver coloured one I had in mcc that was taken by hall friends for Saarang festival at IIT. I have no clue, where it had gone later, but sure it was there in Heber Chapel for one more year. Yesterday at Skimstone studio, my friend Peter gave me his old guitar, that I am now thinking of getting repaired… Don’t know what is its fate…

My Lost pAges

Introduce you to a new blog page www.mylostpages.blogspot.com that is short book I have written during my college days in in MCC. I thought I won't wait for publishing it but share it with those who like to read some real crap. :)

‘My Lost pAges’ is about a writer’s lost ages through his pages. It is a postmodern fiction without any conventional form or structure. It has neither a start nor an end. The structure is as of a book that can be read from any page - start to end, reverse or from any pages you wish to start with. Sincerely that is exactly the way that I have read all the books in my life. My favorite writer is Paulo Coelho. To be honest with you, I have not finished reading any of his books except The Alchemist.

I am not a writer in any weird sense, but in this write-up I am imagining myself as a great writer. ‘My Lost Pages’ are the pages this writer, lost from many of his personal notes as well as other works. Hence there are a lot of factual and fictional references.

There is no big thought process or targets while writing it, except the fact that I was writing with a fever of almost a 100 degrees and was unable to go out anywhere else from the room for three days. It was written during those days in the year 2004, in some alien mood that I can’t express now. Till today I’m unsuccessful to get the same mood to frame an extra page to My Lost pAges.

I’m dedicating this work to my family, 18 freaks of M.A Communication, Hexaware friends and that special someone who is my alter ego for past few years in pain and gain, whom I have never met in my life but known only through her voice and support.

Cheers,

Cockroach

“Some Cry on's and Some Crayons”

“My proposal to a woman and Film Institute was always been a flop. And the history just repeated. But both I can’t stop coz I’m not yet convinced that I’m not good for both. Anyways this time I realized that I was been proposing the wrong girl and that I must change my way of proposal.”

I msged my film guru, friend and guide, Vinod Sir (Veye Films), as soon as I heard that I’m rejected once again in the interview at Film and Television Institute of India (FTII), Pune. It was my 4th attempt since the year 2003. Yea, I can read it, 2003 to 2008 is quite a long period. Last time I was too upset after seeing the result, but this time I’m not. Last time, I even lost my train back to Chennai, boarded wrong train and reached Mumbai VST. Luckily I found a dealer who got me a ticket for the evening train to Chennai on some extra cash. But I had to spend a day at the railway station. I needn’t have done that, but my mental status wasn’t letting me to enjoy Mumbai roads. Sitting there, I thought a lot on what I must be doing in future through audio-visual medium that I was already in love with. Why should I wait for someone to teach me things, why can’t I myself start doing something on my own creating my own space? Too good a dream and too unpractical…Isn’t it?

A lot of ideas just flashed in mind on how to go about doing things. I had a sudden thought - there are novels but there is always a short story, there are costly oil paintings on canvas worth millions but there is still a less costly crayon wax sketch. Without any further explanation to myself I made a quick decision. I may or may not be a feature filmmaker who makes big budget blockbusters, but I can still remain a passionate short filmmaker who fulfils the art of cinema at almost zero budgets. The short filmmaker in me need not bother about the reaction of audience to the film; the money involved in the creation as well as the money such a film can generate later. I don’t need to bother about any kind of awards and appreciation too. Something beyond the box office, the headaches from film unions and ego-prestige issues, where I could concentrate only on the art aspect of it. There I felt cinema more free and fine. In a way, I was doing mere experiments with a satisfactory script, using a mini DV camera and minimal editing techniques only to share a thought…an idea. In past two years time I could do 14 short films and 3 documentary films. All of them have a pattern of simplicity, which I strongly believe in - minimal duration, few dialogues, music, characters, locations and almost zero special effects. To place all these films under same banner and to have a common identity, I have branded it “Cockroach in Cocktail” and a few friends thus stated calling me Cockroach…that I use as my penname now.

Even after all this, there always remained something blank in mind…a good knowledge of filmmaking. I felt this really irritating when my friends and juniors called me to be a part of their film screening sessions and to talk about cinema. Twice I had to go and see the college projects done by junior friends on their request, before they take the output from editing machine. How can I tell them that I have no qualification in filmmaking and all that I have done in these years is like an ekalavya-effort of teaching myself what filmmaking is! I am slowly realizing that, with the trust others have on me, I must not be doing a bad film any time. That is why I tried at FTII once again. Thought I may get a brighter canvas and colours.

Again I was called for the interview a few weeks back. As one of my friends who studied in FTII suggested, I spoke very honestly on what I feel about filmmaking. I said that I’m there to learn the art of filmmaking and told them about all that I was been doing in these years. Finally the jury declared I am just fantasizing on films and I have to come down to reality coz filmmaking is an industry. They said the idea of short films and my promotional measures would never take me anywhere. Thus the history repeated with me losing again the battle for a seat at FTII, Pune.

I am not upset this time’s lose at FTII though it’s not a great feeling to be a loser anywhere. I am clear that I am not the right candidate for them. The idea of films and filmmaking I have is quite different from what they r expecting, which I won’t anyway fit in. Neither I regret about me nor I blame anyone for this. One thing I understood is that, I am sure on what I am doing…in life…I may or may not be able to make feature films in life, but this is my promise to everyone who shares thoughts on my films – I will continue to do short films and reach you with new thoughts.

I am motivated by Vinod Sir’s reply to the msg I sent (I referred him as my God father figure at this time interview as I treat him as my soul source of inspiration) -

“The world always saves ur girl. The girl whom u r searching for, must be in search of you. And so on. They lost you. History starts here.”

Words have a charm of its own, when placed in proper order. It’s inspiring. Anyways I’m not here to change anything. Though I have lost a wider canvas and rich paints, let me speak to you with my crayons and notebook sheet. I don’t have a proper frame for my paintings and don’t know where, when and how to display it. Let me just make a rocket and through it to you. I’m not expecting anything in return. It’s all for free…

Regards,
Cockroach.